


The story of a psychiatrist

by constancehainesashes



Category: Original Work
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol, Crying, Drugs, Emotional, Gen, Healing, Help, Hurt, More tags to be added, Other, Overcoming Adversity, Overdose, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Psychological issues, Psychology, psychiatry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constancehainesashes/pseuds/constancehainesashes
Summary: Basically what the title says. Won't be fluffy. Lots of deep rooted issues will be uncovered.





	1. He's retiring?!

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea that I had. I love psychology and I thought I should write this.

Matthew, or Dr Jergens if you referred to his business card, was sitting at his table, rubbing his wrinkled temples while he waited for his ever-late so-called prodigy, Alex Lewis to arrive. He didn't see the point in becoming a psychiatrist of esteem if being late was going to be the specialty, but he supposed he would let the clients decide that. If they were even interested in having him.

 

"I'm here!" Alex announced, opening the door much to Matthew's glee. He wanted to give him the news and get the hell out of there. His wife was waiting at home for him, the old nag.

 

"Well you're late again," Dr Jergens said dryly. "I don't see how you are going to make it in this profession if you don't change your habits, Mr Lewis."

 

Alex blushed in shame. "I'll do better, doctor. I promise. What assignment did you have for me?" He asked. He worked as an intern of sorts for the old, esteemed and almost revered psychiatrist, and he was trying to learn everything he could from Dr Jergens before he had to start his own practice.

 

"No assignment," Matthew said. "I have some news for you. I'm an old man now, and honestly I have more than enough money to live the rest of my life in peace and leave some for my children and grandchildren, if I ever get any," he grumbled. "I'm retiring, Alex. Today's my last day. I'm leaving the practice. You can take over."

 

Alex was a bit dumbfounded to say the least.

 

"You're not so bad at psychoanalysis, Lewis, even though you have other less than satisfactory qualities about yourself. No one is perfect I suppose. Now, I didn't tell you before, but I am telling you now. I don't have any clients booked, however I did ask them all if they could come to you now. Some of them were not interested. Those who were, I have their files here." Matthew put a stack of files on the table. "Go through these and they will be booking appointments from Monday. As for new clients, you're going to have to work for that."

 

"Doctor Jergens, this is a lot to take," Alex stammered. He was only twenty five and he'd been working with Jergens for only a year. "I'm not sure if I'm ready. I mean, isn't it too early for me to take over?"

 

"Lewis, I'm quitting. I planned this months ago. This is my final decision. And I suggest you take this opportunity to start your practice here because I'm damn sure no one else is going to take you in and give you a chance so easily. Most psychiatrists dream of a chance like this," Dr Jergens stated authoritatively.

 

"I know! I'm not being rude!" Alex said. "Okay I will start my practice here doctor," he agreed hesitantly.

 

"Bebe will help you," Matthew asserted, referring to his secretary. She handled all the appointments but she wasn't allowed to have the clients' files. It was strictly confidential information.

 

Alex could only nod. "I know she will." Bebe was a forty something woman who'd been working for Jergens for more than a decade. She was a bit snippy though, which always unsettled him. A psychiatrist's office should be welcoming, he thought, clients should feel safe enough to talk about their problems.

 

"Well now that that's settled," Matthew cleared his throat, visibly relieved that Lewis had agreed to starting his practice here. If he would have put up a fight Matthew would have had to look for some other psychiatrist to take over here. "I'll be going. I've cleared out the office, and the room is all set up as well for your meetings. You can decide how much to charge but I do suggest it's a decimal lesser than mine, because you're just starting out," he chuckled.

 

Alex almost blushed at the admonishment. "Of course sir, I am not experienced. In this field experience is very valuable," he agreed. It was his last day after all and he just wanted to give his boss a good farewell note.

 

Dr Jergens got up from his table, grabbing his bag. "Use the day to settle in. Monday you have your first client in the morning at nine. I was going to get Bebe to book you at eight but I knew you'd be late," he said humorously.

 

Alex laughed at himself and shook hands with his mentor. Jergens was a very demanding boss, very authoritative and strict with everything including his clients. Most of his clientele was young though, and Alex psychoanalysed the reason to be the fact that they just needed someone from that generation to talk some sense into them. Jergens was an old fashioned old man.

 

And after a practice of more than forty years, which he had set up all on his own, he was gone.

 

Now it was up to Alex to live up to the Jergens reputation.

 

God help him.


	2. Day one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's first day at his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Slight mention of - miscarriage, postpartum depression, stillbirth.

After smoothing out her dress, Bebe stood up to give Dr Jergens a handshake and bid him goodbye. He'd been her boss for twenty four years and he'd been good to her for the most part. And she could forgive him for being rude at times. Anyone who worked with him knew that Dr Jergens wasn't the most polite person out there. However he was considerate and he'd never said no for a day off to Bebe, or given her less pay. The pay was pretty great actually.

 

Bebe was sure her pay was going into the dust now. This new boy was barely out of college, the twenty five year old twat, and he would never be able to get a clientele as good as the Jergens one. Jergens was a revered god in the industry, and what had possessed him to get up and leave his practice was not something most people understood. Being in her mid forties Bebe did get his point though. She wanted to retire much earlier than wait until she was old, and hopefully travel and learn new things. She'd lived most of her life working hard to send her children to good colleges. And now that her youngest was a few months away from that, she was ready to retire.

 

Especially because of that new boy. He was just no good. Bebe knew it. She just wished her old boss had seen it before literally giving him the practice. Well, Jergens was never a hundred percent right in the head, she supposed.

 

-

 

Monday morning came with difficulties for Bebe. She was up early as usual but Doctor Lewis (insert sarcasm here), didn't have an appointment till nine. And even then he would be late. Bebe would bet her bottom dollar on it. That boy was so irresponsible, and here he was, about to give psychotherapy to people. How did he even have a license for that, was what Bebe wanted to ask his university. He clearly wasn't cut out to do such a serious job.

 

After cleaning up and having breakfast, she was at the office. She opened up everything and made sure the cabins were ready, and smelled nice. It was always comforting to have a little roominess and sunlight too. Working the same job for twenty four years had given her quite the expertise on how to soothe patients into paying up because the session actually helped.

 

Bebe sat at her desk, waiting for the first client, or any calls. However when neither the client nor Lewis showed, she was quickly getting bored. She looked up, less than amused when a frazzled looking Dr Lewis showed at nine fifteen, panting for breath. His suit and tie were askew and his hair was too, to say the least.

 

"As always, you're late," Bebe said. "However your client has not shown up nor has he called to cancel but I'm presuming he won't be coming. You can get settled in, your next appointment is at eleven a.m. I would urge you to go through the clients' files, though, Doctor," she told him, slightly mocking the word 'doctor'.

 

Alex visibly relaxed when Bebe told him that he hadn't kept the client waiting, thanking her and stepping into the office. He took off his jacket and put it on the back of his chair, rolling up his sleeves before sitting down and unlocking the first drawer to pull out the first of the files. Bebe, bless her (even though Alex did not like her, emphasis on the not), had put the day's schedule on his desk (which was the same desk Dr Jergens had used). He glanced at it and picked up the file for a Mrs Sanders, who was his eleven o'clock.

 

Over the next forty minutes, Alex learned a lot about his first client. He flipped through her file, poring over the details of all the notes Dr Jergens had left behind. He'd conducted a lot of different analyses tests over her. Mrs Sanders, or Gina shall we say, was a sixty three year old woman. She had been seeing Jergens ever since she was thirty two. That was a long time! She had had a miscarriage back then, which was the original reason she had come to Jergens. After having worked through that she had struggled with post partum depression after having a daughter, then a son, and a third baby who was stillborn. That put her under more depression, more severe this time, and Alex could understand why she was still taking psychological help. The woman had been through a lot.

 

Alex took a break at ten to get up and walk down the hall to get himself a cup of coffee from the coffee machine the office shared with the pathology lab next door. He carried the mug back to his new cabin with not a glance from Bebe, going back to his files.

 

-

 

Needless to say Bebe had a lot of fun that day. Alex charged a tenth of what Jergens used to, which she thought was reasonable. The clients that had stayed on to give him a chance were still very reluctant about sharing their secrets with a completely new doctor and the low price might attract new customers.

 

Bebe wasn't a shrink but she could tell that the day was not going good for Dr Alex Lewis. His first client bailed, and still hadn't called, which meant that he wouldn't be coming back. She guessed he'd chickened out of paying a twenty five year old college loon for psychological advice. Oh well, she would do the same.

 

Mrs Sanders, however, did show up and left in tears fifteen minutes before her appointment ended, paying hastily and leaving. Bebe could only glare at Alex. How inappropriate, to make a client cry on his first day! The nerve!

 

At one o'clock Alex had a particularly difficult client, a case of a very troubled preteen who never listened to his parents and always got into trouble. He reacted violently to a new shrink and kicked Alex in the shin before running out screaming. His mother apologised and paid double. So that wasn't bad, at least. The look on Alex's face was priceless as he held his shin in pain.

 

Three to five was a couple's counselling session in which the husband and wife could be heard screaming in the office from two blocks away. Bebe happily put in her cotton balls and checked the next day's schedule, busying herself.

 

When five o'clock rolled around she put all of her things away and got up, ready to leave. She groaned when a young woman, tall and leggy, walked in. Oh great, a new client. "Are you looking for Dr Lewis?" She asked, sounding bored.

 

The woman nodded profusely, looking as if she would cry. "Please, can I see him? It's very important that I do."

 

Bebe put up a finger, signalling her to wait and ringing inside.

 

"Yes?" Alex asked, sounding exhausted even on the phone.

 

"I have a client here for you, she says it's urgent. Would you like to take her now or tomorrow?" Bebe asked hastily. She just wanted to go home.

 

"Now is fine. Send her in," Alex said a few seconds later. "Oh and you can go now Bebe. I won't be needing you till tomorrow morning." He slammed down the phone. That woman never showed any kind of interest in being at her job, never stayed a minute longer than necessary.

 

Bebe hung up promptly. "He'll see you now," she told the young woman before leaving quickly. She did not want to be stuck at the office an hour longer.

 

The tall woman nodded and opened the door, stepping inside the office, trying not to start crying.

 

"Good evening, how may I help you?" Alex asked politely, getting up. Goodness, he couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was.

 

"I....I think I'm going to jail."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do leave feedback - good or bad.


	3. Still day one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious yet beautiful woman pours her heart out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings : Mentions of death (of a baby), verbal threatening.

"Why do you think you're going to jail?" Alex asked the woman once he had sat her own on the soft couch and opened the curtains a little more, sitting down with his notepad and a few papers. When she didn't reply, he cleared his throat. "Okay we can get back to that. I just need some basic details, for this client form, if you don't mind. Could I have your name, age, address and phone number for starters?"

 

The woman nodded and chewed on her lip. "My name is Christie Leigh. I'm twenty eight. I live at apartment 23, Richman Court, Priory Street. Here's my business card." She held forward the blue card.

 

Alex scrawled down the information on the form in messy handwriting that only he could read, accepting the card and reading it. "You're a surgeon?"

 

She nodded. "Yes I am, I work at the London Presbyterian," she said. "Are you a doctor as well?"

 

"Yes, I finished my medical education and post graduated in psychiatry," Alex said. Surgery was very interesting, but he supposed it wasn't something he could do full time. He tended to think some things just weren't physical at all, the brain was the root cause. "Can I have your reason of visit, Miss Leigh?"

 

"Please, call me Christie. And um...it's complicated, I guess? I just needed to tell someone who couldn't tell anyone else ans this is the closest psychologist to the hospital that I could find."

 

Alex nodded. "That is true, I can't tell anyone a single word of what is discussed in these sessions unless someone else is going to be taking over for your psychological well-being. You can trust me. Now, why do you think you're going to jail?"

 

Christie sighed and leaned back, not sure where to start. "Well, I started working at the hospital after I got my degree as an intern, and it was nice. I've recently just finished my year long fellowship and I'm an attending now."

 

"That's great! Which specialty?" Alex asked, making a few notes here and there. He was always a note taker, they helped jog his memory.

 

"Paediatrics," Christie answered, still staring at the ceiling. She was just....not too comfortable making eye contact just yet, she supposed. "It wasn't my initial choice, I was hoping to do cardiothoracic, but something changed along the path of my residency. Biggest mistake I ever made, choosing paeds," she sighed.

 

"And is that because of today? Or have you been struggling with that a while?" Alex presses gently. "Do you think paeds is the wrong specialty for you?" It was possible to change specialties, but that would mean she would have to start all over in her new choice of specialty and do another fellowship. Most surgeons found that demeaning to their reputation.

 

"Well I had my reservations before I chose paeds, but not after. I used to worry that I wouldn't be able to handle it if a kid died on my watch or because I did something wrong and couldn't save him or her. I mean, it's tough when it's an adult, but it's even worse when it's a kid, especially a baby..." Christie sounded weary.

 

"That is true, but I imagine the happiness you get when that very kid you treated gets to go home and have fun and learn new things is more rewarding than any other specialty," Alex suggested.

 

"You're right," Christie said, finally managing to make eye contact with him. She couldn't help but notice how blue his eyes were. Like an ocean. "It is. It really is."

 

"So now that we have that established, why do you think you're going to jail?" Alex repeated.

 

"I screwed up," Christie admitted. "I um, had a patient. The baby was born prematurely and he was jaundiced, his liver was literally not working at all. He needed a transplant, you see, and it's very difficult to find a donor. But we could have seen if the parents were a match, and that's what we did. They were relieved to know that they could save their child.

 

"So, we did the testing and got the results saying that the mother could donate and the father couldn't, he wasn't a match. The OB who had delivered the baby said that we could do the surgery on the mother to get the part of liver that we needed," Christie explained.

 

"That's great!" Alex said, even though he knew this story wouldn't have a happy ending. If it would have been a happy ending, Christie would never even be here. Psychiatrists didn't get happy ending stories most of the time. They got sad and tragic stories. Oh well. He'd signed himself up for it.

 

"It was great until it all went to hell," Christie said dryly. "I was obviously left in charge of keeping the baby alive while the general surgeon got the liver we needed. And I didn't do it properly." She started to cry.

 

"Do you mean that the baby died?" Alex asked as gently as possible.

 

"Yes he died!" Christie sobbed. "His Apgars weren't great from the beginning and then his sats kept dropping out of nowhere! I tried everything but he was just so small and I couldn't give him too much of drugs! I tried with the paddles," she said, calming down a little, but still crying, "and we got a weak heartbeat. I quickly took him down to surgery and paged the general surgeon to hurry up and bring me the liver. We did the transplant, but he-he couldn't take it. His little body couldn't cope with such a major surgery and he died on the table," she mumbled in a small voice, obvious shame colouring her tone.

 

Alex put a box of tissues in front of her, keeping silent while she wiped her tears and tried to calm herself. Once she seemed to be not as hysterical, he spoke up. "I'm sorry," he consoled her. "But you know this better than me. Sometimes, it's just...inevitable. You tried everything you could, Christie. You worked so hard to save him. It's not your shortcoming. It's not that you didn't do enough, because you did everything a doctor should do."

 

"I tried to tell myself that," Christie mewled. "It didn't work."

 

"I know it's hard. I can tell why it's unsettled you so much. But you have to believe that it wasn't your fault. You'll hurt yourself if you don't. The guilt will eat you alive."

 

"That's not even the worst part," Christie laughed humourlessly. "That baby's father, he's a lawyer. And he went mad when I told him that his baby died. He promised me he would not only sue the entire hospital for every penny it had, but that he would destroy me. Not just kick me out of the hospital, or destroy my career so that I could never practise surgery again, but that he would make it his mission to put me behind bars. For life."

 

"I don't think he can legally get you life imprisonment for that," Alex said lightly. "Even if it is a doctor's fault for killing someone the worst they get is being stripped of their medical license. If it's a person of interest, they get prosecuted from the country, or jailed."

 

"He's a very powerful lawyer, one of the best in London, he'll make my life hell," Christie said, curling up into a ball on his couch. She was very, very afraid.

 

"Be brave. Trust me, this wasn't your fault. If he does drag you into court, get a lawyer. A good one. You'll be okay," Alex reassured her. "It wasn't your fault, technically you shouldn't even get any kind of punishment for this. The most you'll get is a suspension, for a few months or so."

 

Christie managed to look up and nod. "Thank you. I should....get going though. Sorry for keeping you waiting. How much do I owe you?" She asked, getting up and smoothing out her dress.

 

"You can pay next time," Alex said kindly. He knew Bebe wouldn't like it if he took over taking the payments, and he didn't want to risk her quitting as his secretary. She wasn't bad at her job and she had experience.

 

"Okay, I'll make an appointment next time, thank you, Dr Lewis," Christie said, putting on her heels, leaving his cabin to go home.

 

And as Alex watched her go, he couldn't help but think of how beautiful she was.

 

Troubled, but still beautiful.

 

Very beautiful.

 

Very troubled.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter warnings will be posted before each chapter (if any).


End file.
